Last night Aunt Diana stayed with Erin in the hospital while she battles her Acute Myeloid Leukemia M7 and today my mom is staying with Erin while John goes to some training and while I am teaching some piano students. I drove back to Logan with my heart pounding with excitement to see Cecily, Caleb, & John. We had our first night together in our home as a family since this upheaval.
It was bittersweet though. As I was getting ready for bed, my body routinely went to Erin's room to do the usual check-on-Erin-before-I-go-to-bed but her little bed was empty. Her room was so quiet and lonely. Her toys were nicely sitting on her shelves and there wasn't a pile of books on her bed. My heartstrings were torn as I realized that our family is NOT together. A small glimpse of eternity was opened up to me. I was given the perspective of how it would feel if I spiritually lost one of my children. Even as I lay in bed I couldn't feel her little Spirit in our home. It was an awful feeling and I try not to think of it as I am here.
I am so thankful that John and I have been sealed for Eternity by the Holy Priesthood in the Temple. There is no "death do you part" for our family. We are an eternal family and even though Erin's presence is not with us right now as she is living in the hospital we will forever be a family. The gospel of Jesus Christ and his Plan of Salvation for us is a true gift.
I can't wait to see her tomorrow. She has finished day 6 of chemo. Only 3 more to go! Her fever has been lower and the Doctor actually took her off of the antibiotic Vancomycin. When they did a blood test they found that it wasn't working well enough. I'm glad they took her off of it because the redness and itching was unbearable for her.
I taught piano lessons today and it was such a nice feeling to do something that is normal. Almost everything we do now is different than it used to be. I was such a scheduled mother and it's sort of chaotic feeling to not have a schedule anymore. My piano teaching is so organized and scheduled and so far it's really been the only thing that doesn't seem insurmountable. I am thankful for my talents and my abilities to share music with others.
Tags: "Childhood Acute Myeloid Leukemia" "AML" "Leukemia" "M7" "Acute Megakaryocytic Leukemia"