September 11th

Nine years ago today I was a missionary in Leeds England.  My companion and I had spent most of the morning at the church having interviews with our Mission President.  We spent the afternoon trying to contact people, but the streets were empty.  At around 6:00 pm we arrived at our dinner appointment where I was informed that the twin towers had been hit by airplanes.  It was sort of like a dream for me.  In fact, I didn't even really have a chance to mourn the devastation that it caused.  I have always felt a little bit bad that I never had a chance to really "experience" 9-11. 

This day is a reminder of those who have suffered the loss of loved ones, whether it is through terrorism, heath problems or by accident.  This last week I have been thinking a lot about my little air bear and her future.  I don't know what her future will be.  Sometimes that really scares me.  I try to not think about it.  I don't know if I am strong enough to suffer the loss of a child. 

Yesterday I felt a little down about Erin's AML.  For some reason I am always more down about her AML when she is home between stays.  Maybe it's because when she is home we "almost" feel normal, like nothing ever happened.  And then, I see her little bald head and her tubes coming out of her shirt and I am reminded that she has a very serious problem. 

I spent most of the morning trying to not think about Erin as I packed up our clothes to come to Bear Lake for a little family vacation.  Before we left, I picked up the mail and grabbed a letter that had arrived from my sister Annie who is serving a mission in Sweden.  As we were driving to the canyon to head to Bear Lake I pulled the letter out and asked my mom if she wanted me to read it to her.  We were only into the first page of the letter when we looked at each other and we were both crying. 

Without going into the personal details of the letter, I would like to share how thankful I am for the Spirit and how it can touch our hearts and soften the pains that we feel.  I am also very thankful for a living Prophet and the 12 Apostles that are here on earth and who are God's spokesmen.  It is such a beautiful blessing to have a Prophet who talks with God and how we can have direct revelation on what our loving Heavenly Father wants us to know.  I am looking forward to watching General Conference the first weekend in October and hearing their prophetic counsel on how we can be happy in this life and how we can be prepared for eternity.

It was such a blessing for John and I to receive Annie's inspired letter.  At bedtime I shared Annie's letter with John and he also had a beautiful experience with the Spirit and we both had a greater understanding of our Heavenly Father's love for us.  We are God's children.  He truly knows each of us.  He loves each of us.