On June 1, 2010 our two year old, "Little Air Bear," was diagnosed with Childhood Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML) Type M7. After enduring 146 days at Primary Children's Hospital, Erin is now in remission and living a full life at home with our family. Her strong will and constant happy smile is an inspiration to us all. Through our difficult circumstances we found great strength and peace in our Savior, Jesus Christ. Thank you for checking in on us.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

8 Days

Only 8 days until we reach Erin's 1 year mark!

Today we are thankful for 

During Erin's cancer treatment we were the receiving end of many miracles.  A few I'd like to share with you...

The process of finding Erin's cancer was truly a miracle.  It was a Saturday and Erin and I had been playing together in her room and I marveled at how strong her personality and spirit were, but it also sort of bothered me that she was so small for her age (if you've met Erin you'll see that she is tiny...she looks a year younger than she is).  A short time later I rocked her to sleep and held her longer than usual and just watched her sleep in my arms.  I had a distinct impression that there was something wrong with Erin's body.  She had such a strong spirit, but her body was weak, it was lacking something and she looked sick.  I noticed the bruises on her body (we counted about 20 bruises on her body the day she was diagnosed) and that her skin was very pale, almost translucent.  While I rocked her I was reminded that I had a doctors order for a complete blood count test in my cupboard.  When Erin was younger she was anemic for more than a year so we did a few blood tests to follow that.  The following Tuesday (Monday was a holiday) we took Erin to the lab for a blood test and only 2 shorts hours later we found out that Erin had leukemia.  It is miraculous how quickly we caught Erin's cancer, we didn't even see a doctor to diagnose it, just that simple little blood test and a big miracle.  (This is a miracle because AML grows so rapidly we were able to catch it quickly without the hassle of mis-diagnosis)

It was a miracle how quickly we had family around us when we found out Erin had cancer.  I called my mom and told her and within 30 minutes I had my mom, dad, and my little sister here helping us out, praying with us, and giving us blessings before we left for Primary Children's.

During the first round of chemo it was very difficult for me to be in my home with Erin's empty bed in the next room.  It was also very difficult for me to be in the hospital separated from the rest of our family.  I worried so much that Erin would feel estranged or left out of our family and that it would create emotional problems for her.  When we started the second round of chemo I decided that it was important to make Erin's hospital room as close to "home" as possible.  I started praying that we would feel the spirit of our home in that little hospital room.  I also brought in a CD player and started playing music in her hospital room because we always have music playing in our home.  It was miraculous how that prayer was answered.  Every time I entered Erin's hospital room it felt like I was entering my home, there was a feeling of love and home in her room.  It was such a blessing to have her hospital room feel like home since she spent nearly a year living there.

During Erin's cancer we were assigned a new home teacher, Preston Parker who became a huge blessing for our family.  The first few months after Erin was diagnosed we didn't make any friends or get to know anyone else with cancer.  We felt so isolated, but Preston's monthly visits in our home were such a relief for us!  Preston is a 10 year cancer survivor and he understood so much of what we were going through.  It was amazing to talk to someone who got it, someone who understood us and understood chemotherapy. I truly count it as a miracle and a blessing that Preston was assigned to our family at that time.

There was a time during Erin's treatment when she got a horrible sore.  It became a big issue and started to affect her treatment schedule.  I was so worried about what would happen to her and the serious problems that could come from that sore gave me many many sleepless nights.  I took the opportunity to pray sincerely to my Father in Heaven in a peaceful place.  I asked God to make that sore disappear and to heal Erin immediately.  He didn't do that.  But, he did give me the most amazing feelings in my heart in answer to my prayer.  He opened my heart and helped me feel some of his love he has for Erin.  I could feel that he was worried about her too, he is her Father too.  Somehow I had overlooked the fact that God was Erin's father too and that he loves her even more than I do.  I count that understanding that he gave me on his love as a miracle and blessing.  He didn't heal Erin right away, but he healed my heart and helped me understand a little more about love.

"Miracles are natural. 
When they do not occur,
something has gone wrong."


  1. Wow. Those are miracles. That was very touching. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Jill, I love your posts - I feel the Spirit so often. You have a powerful testimony. I loved reading about your miracles. That is one of the things that I think is so amazing about the cancer journey - it is incredibly difficult, but you get to see the Lord's hand in your life in SO many ways - it's incredible!

  3. You guys are so kind. I had to stop and start reading this again, a couple times, since I would get teary-eyed. (Not the first time it's happened while reading this blog.) It's a special sensitive topic.