5 month clinic

I started the day with my usual nervous feelings as Erin and I made the drive to Primary Children's Medical Center.  That drive is all to familiar, but it is also so much like going to visit an old friend.  We had only been in the building for 5 minutes when we ran into two of our cancer fighting friends Brinely and Ellie.  We are part of the greatest support group of moms who have kids with cancer.  Seriously, I couldn't do this without them!

Erin ran into the lab to get her blood drawn.  She will forever amaze me.  How many 2 year olds run in a lab (knowing they are going to get stuck with a needle) right up to the chair, jump in and exclaim, "I'm going to sit here alone."  In the end, she did let me sit in the chair with her on my lap, but she was so brave the whole time.  As the nurse was getting ready to insert the needle into the top of Erin's hand my little Erin said, "I am brave and strong."  Yes, Erin.  YOU ARE BRAVE AND STRONG!

Sitting in the chair "all by herself"

We made our way up to the fourth floor to the Hematology/Oncology Clinic.  I was surprised to see so many other patients there.  It is a place of reality.  Every kid in there has some type of cancer.

Erin was really crabby at this point.  She decided that she needed to throw a tantrum on the floor because, in her words, "I NEED A ROOT BEER!"  Is she trained or what?  She thinks hospital=root beer.  I should have taken a picture of this.

She did calm down a bit to do a craft while we waited.

This video will show you just how accustomed she is to the whole clinic routine.  She could do it with her eyes shut.  I think she is actually bored while waiting to get her blood pressure taken.  She has come a ... long ... way.

We had a great visit with Dr. Verma (pictured with Erin) and Dr. Fluchel, Erin's Oncologists.  Erin's blood work looks good (see below) and she is still in remission!

Showing Dr. Verma how to listen to her heart.

Labs from 5 Month Clinic

White Blood Count 4.4 (normal 6.0-17.0)

Hematocrit 39.0 (normal 34.0-40.0)

Platelets 216 (normal 150-400)

ANC 2300 (normal 1500-8500)

Previous Labs from 4 Month Clinic

White Blood Count 5.3

Hematocrit 41.8

Platelets 215

ANC 2700

I always feel such strong emotions on the days that I take Erin back to the hospital.  Today was a particularly hard day because it was also the day of Tanner's viewing and my emotions have been so tender.  When we entered the room where Tanner's casket was and where his amazing parents were standing, there was the most wonderful feeling of love and peace in that room.  We happened to be in line to witness a very special sacred moment when two mothers, who just 6 weeks apart had lost both of their teenagers to AML embraced in the most loving, close, understand hug I've ever seen.  Time stopped as these two women, who both knew exactly how it felt, comforted each other. 

 

I just kept thinking all night that there is a "time" for everything.  A time to mourn, a time to be happy, a time to love, a time to be loved, a time to give and a time to receive.  A time to be diagnosed with cancer.  A time to be done with cancer.  We are all in differing stages of "times".

 

I came home to a clean house and the kids tucked into their beds (we have THE BEST babysitters).  The kids were all awake reading books in their beds.  I had to hold each one for much longer than usual as I kissed them good night.  I feel so much love for my children and I cannot begin to understand how it would feel to lose one of them.