Things are good. I sometimes feel guilty that things are so good with Erin when I read the blogs by my cancer friends whose kids are just so sick. This new world of cancer is such an unexpected roller coaster. My heart aches from the hardships of my friends and their kids.
Erin is really doing well. Her hair is growing, she has so much energy, and she is vibrant and happy. Her body is bouncing back from the near death the chemo brought upon her bone marrow. She gets tired now and then, and she has had a runny nose since she came home at Christmas, but those are such small things to even complain about. I have been soaking Erin in a tub a few times a day and her sore is seriously softer and much less inflamed.
She naps two or more hours a day which I'm sure is helping her little body continue to heal. She is my only child who has napped until almost age 3. She comes to me each day around the same time and says, "I'm tired mom, can I have a nap." Wow! That one always surprises me because I had to be really creative to get her siblings down for a nap when they were little.
Saturday night I tucked her into bed and whispered to her that tomorrow would be Sunday and that we would go to church in the morning. She yelled, "oh church, yeah!" She loves going to church and seeing our wonderful neighbors, and playing in the nursery. She missed going to church while she was in the hospital. She really did miss it. I couldn't believe that when she was home and better that she would even remember church, but she did. It is such a blessing that her spirit remembered that peaceful feeling that comes with going to church.
We have been having emotional ups and downs since being home and being done with cancer. It's been an adjustment. We lived on adrenaline and tears for so long and our bodies/minds/spirits our still adjusting to normal life. When our social worker talked to us about being home she warned us about depression and how things would feel being home again. Cancer leaves a big wake. It attacks everything, even after it's been killed!
This last week I decided to kick cancer (and all it's shadows) out of the house. I cleaned every room in our house. I cleaned cupboards and boxes out in an attempt to simplify and bring some peace to our surroundings. It all feels so much better. We lived in such disarray for so long while rushing to and fro from hospital and home that things sort of got into a shambles. I sold what we could at a garage sale on Saturday and then we gave everything else to Desert Industries. Having that big project and something to look forward to really brightened my spirits and kept my mind off of cancer.
Thursday I take Erin to the Oncology Clinic at Primary Children's for her 3 month check-up. I always get anxious about these monthly appointments. I wish I didn't, but I do and probably will always be anxious until we hit the magical 5 year mark when she'll be declared cured!
One big milestone coming up!!! Erin gets her LAST DOSE of Septra (anti-pneumonia), "the pink stuff" as she likes to call it, on Tuesday night. Of course, that is all pending on her blood counts on Thursday. But, I'm pretty positive she'll be taken off of it. Oh wow, that reminds me that I NEVER gave her this mornings dose and I've been so faithful giving it to her for the last 10 months. Whoops. Septra is the only medication she is on. She will be medication free tomorrow night! I think we'll have a party!
Thank you so much for your continual prayers, kind words, hugs, notes, and thoughts for our family. We feel so greatly blessed to be so healthy right now. We feel so blessed to have conquered our latest trials. We can truly feel the Lord's hand in our lives. He loves us so much.